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  • Tricia Pyatt, MA, LPC

Feeling > Fixing

Updated: Jan 29, 2019

This week, I heard about a gentleman who was put on life support because he had no brain activity. He had been in a tragic accident and was being kept alive purely by machines. His wife of over 20 years was having an excruciating time saying goodbye to him, and his children were struggling with how to say goodbye to their beloved daddy. It is one of those situations that everyone hopes and prays they are never faced with.


Over the last week, I have heard people talking about the situation, and speaking as though they know exactly what they would do if they were in it. They say things like, “Well if that were MY husband, I would have no problem pulling the plug because I know that’s what he would want”, and “Well we’ve talked about it and made it clear that we do not want to be resuscitated”. I have heard numerous people coldly explain exactly what they would do if they were walking in those shoes, even though they have never even come close to putting them on.


Guys, we have got to stop this! We have got to stop the judging and prideful attitude (like we have life all figured out), and start showing empathy! It doesn’t matter what you would do in those shoes. It doesn’t matter what you have experienced. It doesn’t matter that you don’t agree with how someone else may be handling a situation. It matters that you love one another and show compassion. It matters that you feel with one another and listen to their heart’s cry. And for goodness’ sake, STOP COMPARING!


And listen, when someone is going through a tragedy like the aforementioned, they do not need your opinions, nor do they need you to fix it. Trauma can’t be “fixed”. So keep those opinions to yourself and show empathy instead. Don’t try to fix – try to feel. And watch what a difference this can make in the world.


"Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgement, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of 'You're not alone.'" Brene Brown

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